William 2012!

Ron Capinding's William is back on stage! Gawad Buhay winner for Outstanding Play, Outstanding Ensemble Performance, and Outstanding Original Script, William is the story of familiarizes young people with the beauty of Shakespeare’s works and re-invents the Bard using rap rhythm and hip-hop beats.

Directed by Maribel Legarda, William touches on themes of adolescence, parents’ unconditional love and friendship and promotes respect for teachers and classmates, and advocates love for reading and appreciating literature—Shakespeare or not.

That, and I'm part of the cast. So please watch! Limited one-weekend-rerun only!

Watch William on these dates and times. Schedules in bold are my performance dates.

July 27, Friday, 10AM.
July 27, Friday, 3PM
July 28, Saturday, 10AM
July 28, Saturday, 3PM
July 29, Sunday, 10AM
July 29, Sunday, 3PM

See you at the Theater! For ticket information, visit PETA online.

Before this eats me up

I am inspired very much by what Gibbs Cadiz wrote about the late Mario O'Hara. Gibbs showed Mario as having zero ego, which is, as evidenced by his prolific life, the key to prodigious creating.

More and more I see how egocentric actors bring ruin to any performance. Anytime one's looks/talent/career becomes more important to him than telling the story of the play and the character as truthfully as you can, then you're lost. It's a comon trap, but a vicious one.

I remember Dr Anton Juan holding up two ideals in the Theatre: Simplicity and Clarity. Both ward off egotism. Both lead to Truth and Art. I struggled against this during my rebellious student years, but now these are the very standards I pit myself against each time I am given the opportunity (privilege!) to stand on the stage.

I once worked with an actor with a huge ego. If I were to post a litany of the many grievances "actor" has caused me I'd be writing a book. So let me just choose the ones that fellow actors would understand. I remember one time we were rehearsing. This "actor" kept stepping in and out of the rehearsal hall whilst we were trying to run the traffic of a scene. When I pointed it out, "actor" said: "Shut up!" Way to go for courtesy. Whatever was "actor" doing stepping out? Oh, I know, flirting with another actor s/he has hots for.

I refer to *it as "actor" because I don't want to shame that wonderful profession with *its misbehavior. You try your best to get in an audition. When you get in, you do your best to deserve the role given you. This "actor" does not deserve to be called the same title we attribute to the likes of Ian McKellen, Judi Dench, Lea Salonga, Gary Oldman, Mario O'Hara.

At another time, during a show, this "actor" began saying I was changing the blocking and hurting *it on the stage. I know I wasn't doing anything unusual, except that I know how careful "actor" is with how *it looks on the stage. *It doesn't want to look less of a celebrity on stage. In short, "actor" is more concerned about ego than the story of the play.

"Actor" began throwing a nasty tantrum backstage, and spreading lies about me to the other actors, thus creating negative energy backstage. At another scene, "actor" pushed me back on my tummy... something *it wasn't supposed to do. I was caught off guard as this wasn't rehearsed that I almost doubled over and fell off the edge of the stage.

Then "actor" changed *its blocking so that at one crucial moment, my fist would land on *its head instead of safely away just as we rehearsed.

I was so pissed off. In the meantime, I kept to myself, quietly, as all around me, all of "actor" and *its gang of cool upstart wannabes talked behind my back and conspired against me. Instructed by Spirit not to defend myself, I kept quiet and prayed constantly.

During intermission, the stage manager had to call for a company call. He was hearing all sorts of negative talk and accusations against my person over the mics that were pasted to our heads. These talk was generated by none other by "actor" *itself. The stage manager wanted to know what was going on. So the "actor" laid it on, really thick, all the reasons why I am evil and unprofessional. In the meantime, Spirit within me said, "Don't defend yourself. Be quiet." So I said nothing. I knew I was just victim for the day, the battery for *its self-serving schemes.

Finally, the sound designer and one of my closest friends approached me secretly and said, "You are the bigger man. You are the better person. You know what to do."

I hate it when my friends are right, but I love them for their courage to come to me and be forthright with it. Loyal friends are gems.

I approached "actor" and told *it the last thing I wanted to say. I said, "Sorry." I hugged "actor." And "actor" did the strangest thing. "Actor" hugged me back and began brushing *its thigh up and down my crotch, as if to feel my size. Oh, God! I knew it. This guy wasn't sincere all along. This person isn't even human.

I quickly disengaged myself and thought, "Well, that's the end of the matter, I hope. I hate this person and I hate his gang of stupid posses."

Then the production manager called us both on a meeting after the show. "Not again," I told myself. The production manager wanted to hear the story for herself. And on and on again the "actor" droned *its sorry self-pitying story of how I abusive I was onstage. I was seething inside. Again, Spirit whispered, "I got your back. Don't say anything in your defense.

The production manager then turned to me for my side of the story. I didn't say anything. Then she said the most surprising thing ever. She turned to actor and said, "What you did was wrong. You were extremely unprofessional. How dare you spread all sorts of rumours over the mic about Rico? How dare you raise up negative energy? If you have a problem, you approach the right channel. You talk to the person, and not to other people who are neither part of the problem nor the solution."

I was dumbfounded. And extremely grateful. I knew the meaning of grace. The production manager turned to me and said kindly, "If you encounter any problems, come to me."

Wow. And yeah, I'm writing it now because this story keeps repeating in my head and maybe I just need to let it out. Maybe I need to let someone out there, my invisible readers, the true story. I told my wife about this and she was so angry. I love that. I told another friend. That was good, too. So now, I'm telling you.

I shouldn't care about ego, and should be wary about "actors" who care for nothing else but their own. There are actors like Mario O'Hara and other countless giants who selflessly served in the Theater. That's the kind of Actor I want to be like.

One time, after a show, this "actor" complained mercilessly to an usher about a student in the audience who, *it claimed, was not paying attention to *its monologue. "Actor" had this student called to the stage door and said stuff like, "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to stand there and say a line? And you have the gall na bastusin ako?!"

That student got so traumatized. She told her teacher that she never wanted to see Theatre shows ever again. The teacher asked why. When she found out what happened to her student, the teacher reported to the principal. The principal was so angry she pulled out 4500 students who were scheduled to watch succeeding shows.

Ego is the enemy of the Theatre.

Dana's favorite game series: Bili Books!

Dana plays a lot of pretend games. The ones she likes to repeat a lot are scenes from the musical Annie. She would march around mimicking "It's a hard knock life... for us... It's a hard knock life... for us... No one cares for you, a snitch... When you're in an orphanage..."

That would be my signal to do a Carol Burnett and say, "You're hiding something from Miss Hannigan behind your back!"

The cutest scene is when she tries to sing Molly's part in "You're never fully dressed without a smile." I guess she's at that age when they want to mimic almost anything they find interesting.

So, this is another blog entry about a game Dana invented. She calls it "Bili Books." She gathers all her books together in a small bag that has the top open. She fills the pockets on the sides with all sorts of pencils and pens. Then she declares, "Bili Books!"

I am then supposed to come over, choose a book I want to read, and point it out to her. It doesn't matter which book because she almost always inadvertently chooses the book she'll lend out anyway. Haha! So even if I point at say her Counting 1-2-3 book, she'll say, "Oh, you want to read 'Bath Time'?"

Then you'll have to mime handing her some coins. She'll gladly accept them as if that's the whole reason she set up her bookstore in the first place. She picks up your book 'choice,' then proceeds to stamp it. She'll get a pen, one after the other, and point it at the book, sounding each one with a loud "Chirp! Chirp! Chirp!"

After she goes through all her pens, she happily hands over to you your book which you should commence to read in front of her. But before you can finish reading it, she goes, "Time's up!" You'll have to hand the book bag to her. She stashes it back in her bag and then announces, "Bili Books!" For another round of this game.

We repeat the whole thing several times, and I tell you, I don't get tired of it.

Yesterday afternoon, I needed to sleep, and Dana just set up her shop. Veck said, "Let Daddy sleep! He has work tonight." But Dana wouldn't have any of that. She wanted to play with her Daddy and play she would. Veck threatened to bring out the dreaded hanger for spanking. Dana rushed to her mommy and said, "Friends... Friends tayo... no spanking, please."

Oh, it's too cute! So Dana says, "Sad si Dana. Angry si Mommy. Friends lang."

Veck says, "Okay, but you let Daddy sleep. And if you sleep, too, Mommy won't be angry anymore."

"Opo! Dana is happy!" I heard my daughter say. I think they exchanged hugs at that point but I wasn't sure. I drifted off to sleep. I woke up to my phone's alarm and saw Dana sleeping soundly beside me, using the crook of my arm for her pillow.

What to do when you've cough

I am sick and I am beginning to worry about it. This is a true signal that I should take better care of myself. I've skipped some pill dosages, been drinking two glasses of soda every day during lunch, joining the gang for smoking. Sigh. And a show is coming and I don't want to get any sicker.

So, I intend to take better care of myself. In an hour I will go to the drugstore and buy cough medicine. There's one brand called Colvan that always works for me, although I don't like its side effects. It makes my head drowsy and my throat tight. But better that than let this cough linger.

I will, however, tell you some great home remedies that work wonders.

Water. Drink lots of it. Ideally we all drink a liter a day. Drink more when suffering from colds and coughs.

Yakult. I don't know why it works, but it does. I think all the good bacteria in it kills off the virus. Try it.

Fruit. Any excuse to pig out on apples, pineapples, grapes, oranges, mangoes, or whatever your favorites are is good enough! Eat fruit even when you're not sick!

Unsweetened fruit juice. The sugar in most canned or bottled fruit juice will irritate your throat more, so to get your dose of vitamin C, choose unsweetened.

Rest. Get lots of it! Don't party too much during an illness. Avoid things like alcohol and smoke. For the time being.

Hot broth. The steam from hot broth seem to loosen tough sticky phlegm. While you're at it, soak in a steam bathtub or take a leisurely hot shower. Inhale that steam. It's good for you.

Prayer. Some sort of quiet time and meditation helps heal the body and the soul.

Now let me go take a dose of my own advice. I'll write soon when I get well.

Second half of 2012 Resolutions

Okay. I'm gonna be tough on myself. Here goes:

1. Quit smoking.

2. Drink more water, less soda.

3. Drink hot tea during lunch.

4. Write my morning pages; go on a planned artist date each week.

5. Read some Bible passages each day.

6. Truth, honesty, simplicity. No place for ego.

7. Watch more theatre.

8. Audition more.

9. Be honest to God in prayer, in everything.

10. Work-out every other day. Be it body weights or yoga.

11. Do breath and voice work daily, which means the exercises in Patsy Rodenburg's The Actor Speaks.

12. Share the gospel to at least one friend this year, to whom I've never shared it before.

13. Pray for that person's salvation and wait upon God for the perfect opportunity to share the gospel, and just go for it!

14. To listen intently to Veck and Dana, to be present with them.

15. To forgive myself if I miss anything in this list.

What a weekend!

Just a quick note today.

I have a huge weekend ahead of me. First, I have to prepare for tomorrow's Large Group Hosting. It's "Moving Up" Day, so no lesson, just a lot of songs and fun. Not quite easy if you think about, owing to the fact that I don't get much time to rehearse because of j-o-b. Not that I'm complaining. My Saturday morning will be spent trying to learn the dance steps, and hopefully not in vain.

Saturday afternoon today, I will go to Palm Tower B because my friend and now agent, Dene Gomez, is sending me to a VTR, the second one I'm going to this year. I know. If I wanted more acting assignments I should put myself more out there. Hopefully I nail this one and this relationship with Dene's List Talent Agency works. It will be the first time I am handled by an agent. I'm no longer freelance. Wow.

I've work still tonight. I have to tally a team game we're holding at work. My manager will be on a much-deserved vacation leave and so it's up to me to tally the scores and send them out. I know they'll all be eager to find out who sunk who. It's a Battleship game with a twist. Have to be very thorough with this so I won't mess it up.

Sunday morning, right after shift, which is July 01 already, I just realized! A new month! Just like that. Sunday morning will be spent at church, worshiping, recuperating, I must say--finding rest in my Shepherd.

Sunday afternoon is show time! We ought to be prepared. I'm not sure if we can come in costumes, but I hope our songs for the kids would be fun enough and get them to keep coming back to Kids' Church. This new batch of Nursery level Sunday schoolers will experience Large Group for the first time and we want to make a great impression and whet their appetites for the Bible.

Sunday evening, finally! It's not rest, I'm sorry. I still have work. But I'll be going to the office to party!  JAMawockeez, that's our office's team, will be holding a bash. After tonight we'll be moved to separate teams and we're celebrating six months of joys, pains, and growing together in this crazy company I want to nickname The Firm.

It's been wonderful working with you all, Jamawockeez! Thanks for the support. From the bottom of my heart! Not just on carpeted areas, but moreso when I'm on stage. Your suppost is wonderfully felt and cherished! Cheers!

Psalm 23 taught me how to pray

If there's another thing I learned from David's 23rd Psalm, it's how to pray in the Name of Jesus. I mean, how to really pray.

Think about it. Ever since Sunday School when I was a tee weeny bit of a young boy, we were taught to end all our prayers with, "In Jesus' Name, Amen!"

We were also taught strange superstitions like, if there's a ghost, yell out loud: "In Jesus' Name!" and that was supposed to scare the devil away. (Who's to say that a quiet prayer for divine protection isn't enough for our Dad to rush to His kids' side?)

Now knowing that what basically David did was sing or pray God's names when he wrote Psalm 23 gives me a clue as to how I should pray in Jesus' name.

YHWH-Rapha, I AM Healer, is translated to "He restores my soul." YHWH-Tsidkenu, I AM your Righteousness, is translated to "He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake."

The point is, when I know more and more about Jesus, when I get to be very intimate with Him and know Him personally, then I see facets of His personality as revealed in the Bible and in our daily personal encounters. Then I can begin praying in accordance to Jesus' character. That is, I realize, what it really means to pray in Jesus' name.

Jesus is our Shepherd, the True Vine, the Messiah, the Prince of Peace. In times of confusion, I can pray to hear His voice so I can follow Him. In times of loss and disconnection, I can pray to the True Vine and renew my relationship with God my Father. When I've fallen, I can call on Jesus my Messiah. And when I'm rattled, afraid, shaken, I have Jesus, the Prince of Peace.

So, thanks, David. You taught me how to pray in the name of the Son of David. The One who said, "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends."

Wishes

Someone once told me that one powerful way to make your wishes come true is to write them down.

So, in no particular order, here goes:

1. I want a new toilet seat cover.
2. I want to have Dana's bike fixed.
3. Get bicep muscles.
4. Get cut abs.
5. Write a novel and get it published.
6. Act in a play before this year ends.
7. Tour the Holy Land with my family.
8. Start and grow a savings account.
9. Get a new Blackberry phone.
10. Get a new iPod.
11. Homeschool Dana, and make sure she gets in a good university (UP, where else?).
12. Learn to drive.
13. Watch shows on Broadway.
14. Get to originate a role again.
15. Bring Veck and Dana to Disneyland.

The hidden code in Psalm 23

When I was in fourth grade, my grandmother gave me a Good News Bible. The version is, although bulky, easy to read. I carried it around my school backpack.

Whenever I got bored in history classes, I would hide the Bible between the covers of our textbook and read it. More than once I got caught. The teacher was probably expecting a comic book. Archie or X-Men. Surprise! I was reading Deuteronomy and the history of the people of Israel.

When I got to the Psalms I fell in love with Hebrew poetry. I mean, I absolutely went wild with it. I thought, this is how I am supposed to pray.

The first psalm I memorized was Psalm 23. I would recite, "Yea though I woke through the valley of the shadow of death..." whenever the lights are turned out in my room and I begin to fear bogeymen and ghosts and aswangs that threaten to appear. I guess it was that silly childhood superstition that forced me to memorize a prayer. It begins with "The Lord is my shepherd" and goes all the way to "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Who wouldn't find comfort in that poem? After saying the words, I'd drift to sleep.

As I got older, the patina of familiarity took over my love of the Psalm. It felt old to me, over-rated, even childish. I get knocked over with problems, bills to pay, unemployment, egotistic actors ganging up on me backstage, whatever... I try to recite Psalm 23 but it didn't work its magic on me anymore. It felt staid, hackneyed, impotent. I didn't believe in the words anymore.

Our family goes to Christ's Commission Fellowship to worship on Sundays. The message last Sunday was about Psalm 23 and the hidden names of God in it. My eyes and heart were opened. I fell in love again this time not with the psalm but with the Shepherd.

Listen to the message in full at http://bit.ly/MGwCZ9.

"The LORD" is the English translation for God's proper personal name YHWH, which is "I AM WHO I AM." The I AM is our Shepherd.

Here is the 23rd Psalm.

23 ¹The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

² He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
³ He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
⁵ Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

If we go through each statement, we find how David, the psalm's author, put in God's names in the psalm, highlighting a certain aspect or attribute of His character.

"I shall not want."
YHWH-Jireh
which means "The LORD will provide."
also at Genesis 22:14

"still waters"
YHWH-Shalom
which means "The LORD our peace"
also at Judges 6:24

"restores my soul"
YHWH-Rapha
which means "The LORD who heals"
also at Exodus 15:26

"paths of righteousness"
YHWH-Tsidkenu
which means "The LORD our righteousness"
also at Jeremiah 33:16

"I fear no evil for you are with me"
YHWH-Shammah
which means "The LORD is there"
also at Ezekiel 48:35

"in the presence of my enemies"
YHWH-Nissi
which means "The LORD our banner"
also at Exodus 17:15

"anoint my head with oil"
YHWH-M'Kaddesh
which means "The LORD who sanctifies"
also at Leviticus 20:8

And then the most wonderful thing. In the New Testament, Jesus Christ is called:

The Good Shepherd in John 10:11
The Great Shepherd Hebrews 13:20
The Chief Shepherd 1 Peter 5:4

Jesus Christ, the Lamb of God, is our Shepherd. The last verse which says "Goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life..." carries the idea of not just following, but pursuing, and overcoming. Imagine goodness and mercy racing after you and catching after you and enveloping you all the days of your life just because Jesus is your Shepherd.

In John 10, Jesus said about himself, "The sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice.

"I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me, just as my Father knows me and I know the Father. So I sacrifice my life for the sheep.

"I have other sheep, too, that are not in this sheepfold. I must bring them also. They will listen to my voice, and there will be one flock with one shepherd."

That's an invitation for us all to be part of His flock. Imagine the Lion of Judah as your Shepherd. You certainly have nothing to fear!

Bullying

In 2011 I played a young teenager in the play "William" by Ron Capinding named Tj Domingo. Tj is a bully and has a troubled domestic life.

Personally, I am against all forms of bullying. It damages both the bullied and the bully. In cases of bullying, both parties are victims. Parents and teachers should take responsibility in creating a safer school environment for children and teenagers.

Just today I came across the following incident of bullying in a school bus. This was reported by ABC News.

Students apoligize to bullied bus monitor
School bus monitor abused by students says she won't quit her job

I cannot believe that Karen Klein endured this taunting for 20 years and nothing so far has been done to stop it. The parents should take full responsibility for their children's behavior. It should not stop with just the apology. What kind of home do these kids live in? Why do they misbehave?

In "William", it is revealed that the fictional character Tj Domingo is both physically and verbally abused by his father. This is why I raise these questions.

I am now a father of a three-year-old girl. My wife and I are committed to do everything in our power to keep our girl both from being bullied and bullying others. It begins at home.

If you are bullied, tell someone you trust. If you know someone being bullied, don't just stand there. Do something! Tell an adult. Speak out. Create awareness. There are lots of positive things you can do. Or do like I did: I went up onstage and showed what bullying is, what drives a young man to bully others, and, through the words of William Shakespeare, express a humble apology.

Dana's Games: Cocoon

I have been meaning to start a series called "Games Dana plays." So here's the first entry!"

I wanted to chronicle the games that Dana invented, detail the rules, and share the fun with all of you. Dana is very creative when it comes to coming up with games, and she has been playing these games with Mommy and Daddy since... oh, I don't know, even before she turned one. The rules vary as time goes by and I'll try to recall them as faithfully as possible.

Am I a proud Dad for having a creative daughter? You bet! (I have a suspicion that's how our Daddy Up There feels, too, when we play with our creativity energies and let our creative spirits free.)

Cocoon
For this game, you will need:
- a blanket
- some pillows (optional)

The game starts rather arbitrarily. Dana received a fluffy Hello Kitty™ blanket from her Ninang Jel for her first birthday. We saved and saved this blanket from use for the first six months, afraid that Dana might wet her bed and only ruin it. When Dana got a little bit older, we brought it out for her. She immediately loved it and called it "Hello Pretty."

This is one of Dana's favorite games. We still play it a lot. Dana calls out: "Cocoon! Cocoon!" and wherever I am, I rush to her and we hide under the covers of her blanket. The rule is that all parts or our bodies are under the blanket and all its edges are safely tucked underneath body parts (wherever we can manage). We can even set up pillows to use as pillars to make the "cocoon" more like a tent.

It does get stuffy but under the cocoon Dana pretends to whisper secrets to me (she still can't talk yet, only in babbles). And I get to be close to my daughter! When she gets older, I know she won't want to play with her old man anymore (*sentimental).

Writing this now I can't help but think of prayer. It's been a while that I called to God for a one-on-one meeting, a solo time with God-Dad, a cocoon where I hide under the sheets and whisper my heart's secrets, pains and shame to Him.

"Cocoon! Cocoon!" God may call, waiting for me to rush to His side and be intimate with Him.

Just breathe!

Okay, this is it. Schedule bidding. It's make or break. It's the difference between the rest of the year being exciting or a drone. Let me explain something first.

To make ends meet, I took on a call centering job. I have been at it since November last year, and this has greatly limited my theater involvements. Naturally, I need to work hard, and I want to do good at my job, as well as get regularized (which I did last month, kudos to Rico). But my employer has many policies surrounding outside-of-work-activities.

So far, the only theater I did was the REP Fringe class last summer, which I enjoyed very much, thoroughly enjoyed, and learned a lot from. For the first time I am beginning to understand in a practical, visceral way what Patsy Rodenburg's exercises were as detailed in her book The Actor Speaks, and I work on the exercises every day on my own as if I'm a beginning actor.

It's always good to have a beginner's mind. A Zen mind.

Ego is knocking a lot at my door lately. Gawad Buhay 2012 nominations are out now and my name is not on the list. Puh! I thought I did rather well last year but I didn't get noticed.

But I do know that a lot of the actors whom I admire and respect for their work, professionalism, and sheer courage are not on this year's list as well. So what does that say?

How often have I told myself that I do theatre to serve, not for fame. (Although an acting recognition would be nice.) Still, I shouldn't stop trying to be a better actor. I should go on--breathing. Yes, simply breathing, just as Patsy Rodenburg teaches. I want to be a breathing actor.

But back to the subject at hand. I need to get a good work schedule so I can slip rehearsals in and shows when I can. Here's praying for special favor from God so I can go out on auditions again. I miss the theatre. I have illusions that the theatre misses me, too. Whether that's true or not doesn't matter. In the meantime, breathe, breathe, breathe!

Gary Oldman

One of my favorite actors is Gary Oldman. I think he has that rare gift of what I call "saktong timpla." Neither over or under. He just concocts his performance right. I wish I can see him onstage, but onscreen, I come to watch him with an intent to make mental notes of how it's supposed to be done, only to be carried away by the life of his character.

I want to be like Gary Oldman. Who cares if year after year the Oscar's snubbed him and he got his first nomination only this year? What do award-giving bodies know anyway?

Here's a toast to Gary Oldman! For your truthfulness, your professionalism, your craft. I want to grow into a master actor like you!

I'm excited to see the new Batman movie because Gary Oldman will be there.

Yesterday, for Veck's birthday, we went to the Cabanas Cinemas. We saw Kimmy Dora 2. That was a riot of fun! The funniest scenes are between Uge and Uge. Just frolicking fun!

Veck seemed to like the dozen white roses and the chichacorn I gave her for her birthday. I'm still trying to learn how to be more romantic, so if you've better ideas, feel free to post. On this note, I am reading Nelson T Dy's book The Honeymoon Never Ends. Load of advice in that book! And it's perfect for Filipino husbands because it's written by a Pinoy!

Finally, I do want to act onstage this year. It seems the only audition notices I see are for musicals. I want to do more straight plays, if I can. I miss acting. I'm learning a lot, and I think God is dealing with me on this aspect. Has theatre become my idol? Yikes. Theatre should be an altar of worship, not god itself.

In the meantime, while I'm waiting for my next acting assignment, I ought to be learning breath and being more organic. Whatever it takes to be as good as Gary Oldman!

Learning new things in REP Fringe class

Eric Morris is big on sense memory (something I confess I never really learned to use on stage) and in his books he teaches a preparatory instrumental exercise called Sensitizing. You go through your senses: tactile, olfactory, gustatory, auditory and visual, and gently become aware of and awaken each one. It's an experiential exercise and sort of hard to describe. You have to go through it and discover it for yourself.

The best sensitizing workshop, if I may, that I enrolled in was Vipassana Meditation. We sit and observe and become aware of all the sensations happening at the moment in the body. Each time I sit down now to try to sensitize, I do a vipassana meditation instead. It's difficult, but the results are amazing. I feel more alert and open and available and compassionate. Or, I feel whatever I feel at the moment. Sometimes I'm just sleepy so that tells me my body needs rest. I learn to listen to my body.

Now, in the REP Fringe workshop, we were supposed to create Space around us. It's supposed to be a real space, and we can determine it's shape, size, attributes. We did this by imaging it, sometimes as honey, sometimes as if we're digging a tunnel for ourselves in thick mud. Then you expand this shape around you and know that it is there to hold you and support you and it's a safe place you can expand and let others into.

So I'm assigning myself a little homework. I'm going to experiment with space and sensitizing. I will do sensitizing exercise first via vipassana meditation, and then after some time, try to use the available sensations I feel at the moment and use that to create my space. Wouldn't that be exciting? I wonder what I'll discover.

I feel miles away from being Giles Corey. I'm hoping that is the role that's finally assigned to me for the recital. We're doing "The Crucible" by Arthur Miller. Our recital is on June 1. Hope you can come and watch.

God is forever with us

I was reading Genesis 21 tonight and observed a few things I thought I'd like to share with you.

Genesis 21:22 "God is obviously with you in everything you do."

That was King Abimelech talking to Abraham. I realize when God is truly with you, it is obvious. Even the pagans notice, and they bring glory to God. I know that Jesus wants me to abide with Him because He is Immanuel, "God with us." God does want to be with me--Jesus died and rose again to prove it! So, what could be the practical application for me? It can be "practicing the presence" of God. I heard this talked about in K-love. Simply behaving as if God is with you in the room you are in, in your car, wherever. It can instantly change how you think and feel. And God is ever-present!

Father, I thank You that You are always present. Help me to know You are always near. Please be involved in my life. I ask that You be with me in everything I do. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.


Genesis 21:25-26 Then Abraham complained to Abimelech about a well that Abimelech's servants had taken by force from Abraham's servants... "This is the first I've heard of it," Abimelech answered. "I have no idea who is responsible. You have never complained about this before."

There is a right way and time to "complain." When I live knowing that God is always with me, well, then He's the one I talk to first when I have something to complain about. I can go to Him right away. I think that God Himself arranged this meeting between Abraham and Abimelech. Maybe Abraham prayed about the well situation. It's possible. So, godly people don't complain. They pray. So when I have stuff at work, I go to God.

Dear Jesus, I thank You that You are always with me. I pray that the next time I see occasion to complain, that I go to You first, Jesus, lover of my soul, who has the power to take care of the situation. I thank You for the freedom to bare my soul's secrets and heart's pains to You. I bask in Your love and unconditional acceptance. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.


Genesis 22:33 Then Abraham planted a tamarisk tree at Beersheba, and there he worshiped the LORD, the Eternal God.

The Lord Jesus is the Eternal God. If God promises to be with me, and He is the Eternal God, then our togetherness is forever. So, even when things are uncertain, even in difficult times, even when I feel like He's abandoned me, always remember what He whispered to my heart's ear: "Never alone." I am never alone. God is forever with me. The Lord Jesus is the Eternal God.

I worship You, my Lord Jesus, the Eternal God of Abraham.

Going through a lot

I'm going through a lot in life lately and I was taught the best thing to do when things get tough and life wears you thin is to count your blessings. So here I am doing just that. The list would go on forever so I'll limit it to the first 50 that enters my mind.

Praise God with me for:

1. my wife Veck
2. my daughter Dana
3. my salvation in Jesus
4. my dGroup
5. Dana's toys and joys and antics
6. my family's laughter
7. my NLT Life Application Bible
8. the air I breathe
9. the evening breeze
10. the sun streaming through the kitchen window
11. poetry and words
12. my books
13. my job
14. being recognized by my peers as someone who leads by example, contributes to team success and acts with integrity
15. my creative spirit
16. my creative mentors
17. K-Love.com
18. my loyal, close friendships
19. my small home
20. my pen and notebook and the freedom to write my thoughts
21. our spaghetti dinner tonight
22. free soda at the office
23. the Theatre! THE THEATRE!!
24. the Theater Actors Guild of the Philippines
25. having a bed to sleep 8 hours in
26. my life
27. green apples
28. Dana's prayers to God
29. family devotions
30. Issey Miyake perfume
31. my blog
32. my BlackBerry
33. my pumpkins Cheska, Chelsea, Cholo, Chanel and Cheyenne
34. my parents
35. my "fans"
36. the practice of meditation
37. my wife finishing residency training
38. God's grace and truth in Jesus
39. the Holy Spirit in my life
40. NxtGen Kids' Church
41. writing for the Chronicle
42. Christ's Commission Fellowship
43. surviving Ondoy, and Mayami bus accident
44. my CDs and DVDs
45. some money in the bank
46. the privilege of being on stage
47. the forgiveness of my many sins
48. my Artist's Way cluster of friends
49. God's constant presence in my life
50. Job, Bezalel, Oholiab, Ezra, Philip Yancey, Pak Iwan and many other heroes of my faith

Pursue intimacy through solitude

Take a moment each day to withdraw from the busyness of life and spend time alone with God. Just you and your Savior, getting intimate with each other. This is the spiritual discipline of solitude.

The 21st Century Christian finds this notoriously difficult. He is constantly distracted by an immense number of entertainments that gnaw at his consciousness. James 4:4-7 identifies three major obstacles to getting closer to God: love for the ways of the world, pride that makes us believe we don't need God, and the Devil who deceives us into thinking God does not love us. Nothing can be further from the truth. God longs to draw near to us. James 4:8 says, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."

God's grace allows us to see our sinfulness—wherever and whenever we aligned ourselves with the values of the world. God's grace allows us to humble ourselves and ask God for forgiveness. God's grace allows us to draw near to Him. God promised, "You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:13). God knows your heart. If you sincerely long for Him, you will have intimacy with Him. It takes grace.

Many times in Jesus' earthly life He practiced solitude. He withdrew from the crowds to spend time alone with God. He spent the very first hours of His day in prayer alone with His Father (Mark 1:32-38). He directed His life according to His Father's commands.

"In the morning, O LORD, You will hear my voice. In the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch" (Psalm 5:3). Susanna Wesley, mother of more than ten children, found a creative way to find solitude of life. In the midst of motherhood and housework, she retreats into the kitchen, pulls her apron over head, and spends time with God! Knowing God intimately is eternal life (John 17:3). In Hosea 6:6, it's as if God intimates a secret Himself: "For I delight in loyalty rather than sacrifice, and in the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings." Hosea rallies us in verse 3: "So let us know, let us press on to know the LORD." Make intimacy with God your primary goal in life.

There are many benefits to practising solitude. Any trial brings you closer to God and becomes a blessing. And you recognize that any blessing that might draw you farther away from God becomes a curse. In 1 Samuel 30, David faced a difficult trial. He clung to God and found strength in Him. He found the strength to ask God for directions, to carry them out, and to lead his band of soldiers to do the same. "The people who know their God will display strength and take action" (Daniel 11:32). People who know their God become strong because they are dependent upon the Lord. Quiet time is not a luxury. It is their means of survival.

Jesus says, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any one hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and dine with him and he with Me" (Revelation 3:20). God longs to spend time with you. To sit down you, sip a little wine, and talk about anything and everything about life. Will you let Him in your heart?

Safety on the bus

Two Sundays ago going home from church, we figured in a vehicular accident. Veck, Dana and I were on the Mayamy Transit Bus UVB-203 bound to Fairview, when we hit a parked bus in front of the Gate 3 of AFP in Santolan. Read news here.

Veck suffered a minor laceration to her forehead. Dana, who was sitting on my lap, was unharmed. Many other co-passengers were gravely hurt. Many suffered injuries along their jaws causing them to loose teeth. Others had wounds on their shins. Others on other parts of their faces. It was a bloody mess.

After that incident, I became more cautious when taking public utility vehicles. I mostly take the MRT when I can help it. As a word of precaution, here are some safety measures you can take while on-board a bus.

• Remain alert. It is important not to fall asleep or be drowsy. This can be difficult for some people so make sure you get enough 8 hours of sleep at home and not when traveling. You are in a better position to help yourself in an accident if you are awake then when asleep.
• Keep your cellphones fully loaded and charged. It is at emergency situations that you would need to contact a friend or family member for help. Also, ICE your phones. Label emergency contacts in your phones with I.C.E. so paramedics and other rescue professionals know who to contact in a case of emergency.
• Maintain proper posture. Whether sitting or standing in a bus, maintaining good posture allows your body to reflex into a more self-protective position when a split-second accident happens. Slouching is not advisable. It makes you more prone to injuries should a mishap occur.
• Speak up. As soon as you notice the bus driver over-speeding or swerving lanes where these are prohibited, notify the conductor or the driver right away. It is important to make them aware that there may be elderly, children or pregnant mothers on board and that it is their social responsibility to observe traffic rules for the safety of everyone.
  
  
• Inform your family. Especially for minors, let your parents know where you are at all times. Before leaving home, it is good to let them know what route you plan to take, and what time it takes for you to commute. Inform them once you've reached your destination. If there are changes in your itinerary, for example, you and your friends wish to stay at a Starbucks after you see the play, let them know as well. Make this a habit so they know immediately if something is wrong if this routine is broken.
• Know the nearest government hospitals in your area. When involved in an accident, it may be better to go to a government emergency hospital because of the medico-legal services they have. If you go to a private hospital, they will patch you up and ask you to go to public hospital because most private hospitals don't have medico-legals. You need a medico-legal report when you file a complaint at the Land Transportation Office.
• Pray. Ultimately, it is God who is our Mighty Protector. He is able to keep us safe from all harm. Psalm 16:1 says, "Keep me safe, O God, for I have come to you for refuge."

Travel on safe paths, my friends!

A chronological Bible study guide I return to

There are many ways to read through the Holy Bible and one that I personally favor is a chronological study. That means you don't read the book from Genesis to Revelation, going through the books as they are listed in the Table of Contents. (I tried to do that when I was in 5th Grade. When I came to the Chronicles I read about events that were already described in Kings. I thought, "Oh. History repeats itself.")

Selwin Hughes and Trevor J. Partridge's Cover to Cover: The acclaimed plan to read the Bible through in one year as it actually happened has helped me read through the Bible once years ago. I plan to go through it again, this time in a slower pace, not compulsively speeding through the day's prescribed reading, but conscientiously chewing and digesting God's words as I go.

So, I begin not on 1 January 2012 but several days late, and I try to mull on the pages. I hit upon an idea. Read the Bible. Stop when a passage or verse jumps at me. Go to my notebook and dive deep into a timed writing practice.

I haven't exactly been able to do that, but tonight, since Veck and Dana are on a much belated vacation trip to the in-laws in Malolos, I am going to BGC hours earlier than my work shift to do just that. I've some chores to do (bring the Blackberry to the store for needed repairs, pick up a book order, etc.) that I really need to get going.

Finally, here I am, opening to page one of the daily reading plan.There is a slight dread. I've read every word of the Bible before. Is there anything new I will find? Shall I switch to a different version for a fresher perspective? The King James Version, maybe, and reconstruct my English syntax? I might walk around the office and ask people, "Where art thou having supper?" or recite "Thy payment shalt be applied unto thy account within two to-morrows of to-day." That would be a riot. I was not exactly looking forward to reading the Bible.

Then bam! Right there, I see something I missed when I first went through. Hughes and Partridge cover not just Creation on Day 1, but also Satan's pride and fall (Isaiah 14:12-17; Ezekiel 28:13-19). That's what got me racing to my notebook. So early on, at the onset of 2012, God is warning me of the danger of pride. I better take heed.

Pride is when I convince myself I don't need God and do things my way. That my ways are better. That I'm always right. Nothing can be further from the truth. I am helpless, vulnerable, doomed and in desperate need of a Savior. Pride blinds me to that truth.

So I list the ways I can be full of pride.

"I already know this" ... when listening to a Sunday sermon.

"Some people are born slow so I'll just need to be patient" ... when people or colleagues seem to not get what I am trying to say.

"I can't be wrong" ... when someone disagrees with me.

"It's not my fault" ... when convicted of sin, or when Veck tells me how I can be a better husband and father.

"Let's try it my way" ... when God shows me the right path to take.

"Maybe later" ... when God tells me to do something.

The list goes on.

I bring this list to Jesus and wonder what He'll do with it. I suspect He'll put a blood-colored stamp mark on it: "Already Taken Care Of 2000 Years Ago."

O Jesus, I need a Savior! I need a King! I need You.

Pursue intimacy with God

What is your life's pursuit? To answer that question, examine your schedule. What activity do you devote more time to than anything else? David's pursuit is intimacy with the Lord. In Psalm 27, amidst war and many troubles, he wrote, "One thing I have asked from the Lord: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to meditate in His temple." The reward David longed for was God Himself.

David knew this truth: when you have God, you have everything. The opposite is also true: when you don't have God, you have nothing. Are you scrambling up the corporate ladder? Are you bent on the pursuit of your career goals? The apostle Paul once pursued the top of the religious positions, until he learned that nothing was more important than intimacy with God (Philippians 3:8).

Inside each person is an emptiness—a soul appetite. You will want to fill that emptiness, but instead of asking God to satisfy you, you tend to grab at the "good things of life" like riches, busy-ness, relationships, (Luke 14:18-20, Mark 4:19). But these won't be enough. Only God can fully satisfy. "This is eternal life," asserts John 17:3, "that they may know You, the only true God and Jesus Christ whom You have sent."

True Christianity is knowing God intimately. The result is a deep and growing trust in God; a transformation where everything the Christian does flows out of his love for the Lord Jesus. The evidence that you are indeed a true Christian is a hunger and passion for God. The Christian knows that life is all about God, and not about him (Colossians 1:16).

Man's chief aim is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. God loves you. He wants to hold hands with you as you walk together through the journey of life. "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you" (James 4:8). Pursue intimacy with God.

One way we pursue intimacy with God is through prayer and fasting. But why fast and pray? First Timothy 4:7 tells us, "Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness." We do not fast or pray for the sake of fasting and praying, but for godliness. Richard Foster pointed out, "More than any other discipline, fasting reveals the things that control us." We realize what our compulsions are. And we realize our deep need of God.

This is seen in the life of King Jehoshaphat. When he was surrounded by his enemies, he cried out to God (2 Chronicles 20). In his helplessness, he sought the Lord. "Prayer and helplessness are inseparable," said O. Hallesby. "Only the one who is helpless can truly pray. Your helplessness is your best prayer. It calls from your heart to the heart of God with greater effect than all your uttered pleas."

God spoke to Jehoshaphat. "Do not fear... for the battle is not yours but God's" (v. 15). Don't fight. Stand and see my salvation. I AM with you. God does not speak louder when we fast. But we begin to hear Him better.

"O taste and see that the Lord is good! How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!" the 34th Psalm sings with a promise. "They who seek the Lord shall not be in want of any good thing."

When we pray and fast to draw near to God, He draws nearer to us, and we enjoy our fellowship with Him. Soon your heart will testify: "Thou will make known to me the path of life; in Thy presence is fullness of joy; in Thy right hand there are pleasures forever" (Psalms 16:11).