I am inspired very much by what Gibbs Cadiz wrote about the late Mario O'Hara. Gibbs showed Mario as having zero ego, which is, as evidenced by his prolific life, the key to prodigious creating.
More and more I see how egocentric actors bring ruin to any performance. Anytime one's looks/talent/career becomes more important to him than telling the story of the play and the character as truthfully as you can, then you're lost. It's a comon trap, but a vicious one.
I remember Dr Anton Juan holding up two ideals in the Theatre: Simplicity and Clarity. Both ward off egotism. Both lead to Truth and Art. I struggled against this during my rebellious student years, but now these are the very standards I pit myself against each time I am given the opportunity (privilege!) to stand on the stage.
I once worked with an actor with a huge ego. If I were to post a litany of the many grievances "actor" has caused me I'd be writing a book. So let me just choose the ones that fellow actors would understand. I remember one time we were rehearsing. This "actor" kept stepping in and out of the rehearsal hall whilst we were trying to run the traffic of a scene. When I pointed it out, "actor" said: "Shut up!" Way to go for courtesy. Whatever was "actor" doing stepping out? Oh, I know, flirting with another actor s/he has hots for.
I refer to *it as "actor" because I don't want to shame that wonderful profession with *its misbehavior. You try your best to get in an audition. When you get in, you do your best to deserve the role given you. This "actor" does not deserve to be called the same title we attribute to the likes of Ian McKellen, Judi Dench, Lea Salonga, Gary Oldman, Mario O'Hara.
At another time, during a show, this "actor" began saying I was changing the blocking and hurting *it on the stage. I know I wasn't doing anything unusual, except that I know how careful "actor" is with how *it looks on the stage. *It doesn't want to look less of a celebrity on stage. In short, "actor" is more concerned about ego than the story of the play.
"Actor" began throwing a nasty tantrum backstage, and spreading lies about me to the other actors, thus creating negative energy backstage. At another scene, "actor" pushed me back on my tummy... something *it wasn't supposed to do. I was caught off guard as this wasn't rehearsed that I almost doubled over and fell off the edge of the stage.
Then "actor" changed *its blocking so that at one crucial moment, my fist would land on *its head instead of safely away just as we rehearsed.
I was so pissed off. In the meantime, I kept to myself, quietly, as all around me, all of "actor" and *its gang of cool upstart wannabes talked behind my back and conspired against me. Instructed by Spirit not to defend myself, I kept quiet and prayed constantly.
During intermission, the stage manager had to call for a company call. He was hearing all sorts of negative talk and accusations against my person over the mics that were pasted to our heads. These talk was generated by none other by "actor" *itself. The stage manager wanted to know what was going on. So the "actor" laid it on, really thick, all the reasons why I am evil and unprofessional. In the meantime, Spirit within me said, "Don't defend yourself. Be quiet." So I said nothing. I knew I was just victim for the day, the battery for *its self-serving schemes.
Finally, the sound designer and one of my closest friends approached me secretly and said, "You are the bigger man. You are the better person. You know what to do."
I hate it when my friends are right, but I love them for their courage to come to me and be forthright with it. Loyal friends are gems.
I approached "actor" and told *it the last thing I wanted to say. I said, "Sorry." I hugged "actor." And "actor" did the strangest thing. "Actor" hugged me back and began brushing *its thigh up and down my crotch, as if to feel my size. Oh, God! I knew it. This guy wasn't sincere all along. This person isn't even human.
I quickly disengaged myself and thought, "Well, that's the end of the matter, I hope. I hate this person and I hate his gang of stupid posses."
Then the production manager called us both on a meeting after the show. "Not again," I told myself. The production manager wanted to hear the story for herself. And on and on again the "actor" droned *its sorry self-pitying story of how I abusive I was onstage. I was seething inside. Again, Spirit whispered, "I got your back. Don't say anything in your defense.
The production manager then turned to me for my side of the story. I didn't say anything. Then she said the most surprising thing ever. She turned to actor and said, "What you did was wrong. You were extremely unprofessional. How dare you spread all sorts of rumours over the mic about Rico? How dare you raise up negative energy? If you have a problem, you approach the right channel. You talk to the person, and not to other people who are neither part of the problem nor the solution."
I was dumbfounded. And extremely grateful. I knew the meaning of grace. The production manager turned to me and said kindly, "If you encounter any problems, come to me."
Wow. And yeah, I'm writing it now because this story keeps repeating in my head and maybe I just need to let it out. Maybe I need to let someone out there, my invisible readers, the true story. I told my wife about this and she was so angry. I love that. I told another friend. That was good, too. So now, I'm telling you.
I shouldn't care about ego, and should be wary about "actors" who care for nothing else but their own. There are actors like Mario O'Hara and other countless giants who selflessly served in the Theater. That's the kind of Actor I want to be like.
One time, after a show, this "actor" complained mercilessly to an usher about a student in the audience who, *it claimed, was not paying attention to *its monologue. "Actor" had this student called to the stage door and said stuff like, "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to stand there and say a line? And you have the gall na bastusin ako?!"
That student got so traumatized. She told her teacher that she never wanted to see Theatre shows ever again. The teacher asked why. When she found out what happened to her student, the teacher reported to the principal. The principal was so angry she pulled out 4500 students who were scheduled to watch succeeding shows.
Ego is the enemy of the Theatre.
