I will smoke my last twenty cigarettes
In memory of you.
One stick for your secret kisses in the Fire Exit
Two for those kisses when you bite my lip.
Four sticks I’ll burn for the times we made love.
Like our mingled laughter the smoke
dissipates and depletes the ozone.
Three sticks I’ll burn for your tight hugs
How I buried my face in your neck
And felt safe all through the night.
One stick for the smell of my cologne
That has rubbed off on your skin
When I pressed next to you.
One stick for how you kept my nails neat
And taught me what clothes to wear
And how you’ve always been there
When I didn’t expect you to.
One stick for the dinners, and the movies, and the plays
One more for getting my jokes even in the bad days.
Two sticks for keeping my heart’s secrets
And two more for entrusting me with yours
I tried to listen to the music on your phone
Two broken hearts strumming along.
One stick, I’ll keep, to carry a wish
That fate will cancel out all your regret.
I’ll smoke my last puff, down deep in my belly
I know it feels right as I know it is killing me
And your love, like a cancer, I will snuff right
out…
of…
my…
life
