I am reviewing some key essays in TAW, although not formally going through the book in a strict twelve-week basis.
Having reread the essay Shadow Artists, I realize humbly that all writers on this earth have social, economic, familial, and geographic realities that we must face, deal with, contend, engage every day--and yet still make art. It's a humbling realization, because now I can no longer resent this or that artist who just happened to be born to supportive parents who paid for acting classes or dance lessons or a singing coach, and drove their child to and from rehearsals. I am not that actor, although I am friends with actors who have that reality.
I have used resentment far too long as a block. I imagined that there is an ideal artist's life and that I don't have it, and that is why I am not successful or prolific. It's a victim mentality and it has crippled me far too long. To let go of it, I need to forgive myself for embracing that block, and to gently let it go.
All artists have their lives and realities. I am an artist with my own life and reality. It's not always easy, the path is often rocky and dirty, but this is my life, and in it I can and must create the art that wants to be created, because all artists before me, and around me, create in the lives they are in.
No more putting off creating until I get the fantasy artist life that I envisioned as ideal. In this life that I am in now, in whatever reality, I can create. I think this is what Julia meant when she said it is audacity that creates artists, not just talent. In the midst of my realities, I need to be audacious and create art, let go of resentment, and embrace the rich life I am given: I am a husband to a loving wife, I am a father to a spirited artist daughter. I did not finish school. I love reading and fiction. I have skills I need to learn, and will learn if I put in the time. My parents are middle-aged, and no, they were not supportive of my career choice, but that's just that. I can still create my art here and now.
Thanks for listening.
