Some memories...
I auditioned for a play but received the sad news a few days later. The dreaded, "Thank you for auditioning. Unfortunately…"
And then, the unexpected, "Would you consider teaching an acting class for the cast?"
I said Yes before I could think about it. What? No room for bitterness? Am I St. Rico all of a sudden. No. I didn’t think. I just plunged.
I am still at a fight with our old landlady, although now my claws are sheathed and my fangs unbared. I think I would rather try this fight some other way. And the suggestion, the brilliant idea, came as I prayed, and then sat in stillness. It may have been a whisper from God.
I had a wonderful email from my Dad today about how his two biggest bosses, the ultimate honchos, asked him to stay longer at the company, that they liked his work, that he is precise, clean, and hard working. Dad told me that on his deathbed I should tell him a version of that story, too: mine. I dunno if I’m ready to plunge into full-time corporate employment yet. What I really want to do now is…
To read novels. And to write one. And in the process, become a better actor. Sure, I won’t neglect my daily yoga. It keeps me limber and my breath capacity in check. But I am, as of now, an out-of-work actor/writer. How could I impress my Dad?
Veck and Dana went to Propee’s birthday. Propee is a giant violet whale and is the mascot of Propan TLC multivitamins for kids. Every year they throw a giant bash, and each year bigger than the last. Veck told me when they got home that we didn’t win the 32-inch LED TV at the raffle.
But I was more interested to know that Tara and Arkin were in the corporate show, singing and dancing and acting. Was there a twinge of envy? I’m not sure. I’m not a musical theatre actor. I don’t have a singing voice.
But if I don’t even pass auditions for straight plays, what am I? If all I’m asked is to teach acting workshops, have I become that joke: Those who can’t, teach?
Still, today, after yoga, meditation and writing, I get all this story ideas swimming in my head. I plan to read more books this week, and maybe trick myself into writing.
Tomorrow I meet with NxtGen to rehearse for teaching acting demo for CCF Makati. Hope the weather will be clement, but the real question I want to ask myself is: "What do I want to do with my life?"
I want to write fiction and act on the stage. Next question: how? I need to conquer my own cowardice. Again, how?
I guess I have the rest of my life to find out. Thanks for listening.
