Here is, more or less, the version I performed in my monologue tonight at class. Notice the changes.
I would like to express my appreciation to all my classmates who gave such wonderfully kind comments about my performance. Most special thanks for Teacher Melvin Lee. You rock!
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E Hi, sir. Hands piece of paper to auditioner.
Ah, on the X, sir? Stands on the X.
My name is Vanz, sir. Vanz Perlas. Where I come from, sir? I come from Pangasinan, sir. There are many Perlas in Pangasinan, sir. Our whole family sir, is Perlas. That’s our family name. Perlas like the pearl.
Beat. Oh, this? I actually borrowed a polo barong from my neighbour but I fell asleep on the bus and someone stole my bag, sir.
Beat. Oh, these? Looks at his bare feet. Uh, because sir when my bag got stolen, sir, my money was in it. And then the conductor found out I have no money to pay for ticket so he kicked me out. I walked the rest of the way sir, but on the fifth day of walking my tsinelas gave way na, sir. They were broken. I was walking like this like this and then I realized it’s better to just throw away both tsinelas so I have no more tsinelas, see? Shows black feet.
I am 17 years old now, sir. Uhm, what I came here for? I came here to audition, sir. I heard you have audition. Beat. Uh, I saw it on the TV sir. “Looking for Pinoy with talent.” Sir, I’m pinoy and I’m with talent.
Beat. Oh, no sir, I have no acting experience. This is my first time to audition.
Beat. What, sir? The auditions are over? Beat. The auditions was yesterday, sir? Oh, no! Two Yesterday, sir, I was still walking down NLEX so I can get here. Beat. Sir, maybe you can give me a chance. I really want to be an actor, sir. Beat.
Okay, sir. I’ll go home now. You know, sir, it’s for my sister, really. I told her she will see me on TV and she said if she sees me on TV she will laugh. That’s why I’m here sir. I want to be on TV. I already memorized the script sir.
Beat. Yes, sir, I’m going now. You know what, sir, my sister? She is my most beautiful sister in the world. You know, my mom used to say, “Ay! How beautiful my baby girl! Just like her mother!”
And then my dad, he will say, “When your little sister was born the night sky became darker.” I would say, “Why did the sky grow darker, Tatay?” And he will say “Because God took some of the stars down from heaven and put them in your sister’s eyes.”
It’s true, sir! My sister is beautiful. Especially when she laughs. There are stars in her eyes that sparkle when she laughs.
Beat. Yes, sir. Right, sir. I understand you’re not interested. You know, sir. My sister cannot read, so I read to her. I love to read her stories. And when I read to her she laughs. Then one day my Tatay brought home a large-screen color TV sir. Twelve inches. I promised her she’ll see me on TV. I will dance like Jan-Jan the boy macho dancer! But you know you said the audition was yesterday and yesterday I was still in NLEX so I’m going home now, sir.
Beat. My sister is sick, sir. There is no medicine in the drugstore that can cure her. When my sister got sick, she stopped laughing sir. And then we can’t see the stars in her eyes anymore. That’s why I want to be on TV sir, so she can see me and she will laugh again.
Beat. Okay, sir. Going home now. Sorry for wasting your time, sir. Uh, sir, you know, I walked all the way here and I lost my tsinelas already. I know the auditions are over, but if you please, if it’s okay, I’d like to recite the lines anyway. If it’s all right with you. I memorized the script sir and I walked for many days just to get here. Maybe you will just allow me just three minutes to say my monologue?
Beat. Thank you very much sir! Uhm, this is from the scene with Alan and Vernice at the beach! Alan pushes Vernice who is sitting on the wheel chair.
Curtain!
“Here you go, Vernice! Just like I promised you. I told you I’ll take you to the sea to watch the sunset.”
And Vernice says, “Oh, Kuya Alan! It’s so beautiful!”
And Alan says, “Yes. It is beautiful. Very beautiful.” And then they were both silent for a while, just watching the sunset and the waves and the sand.
Beat.
And then Vernice says, “Kuya Alan, where do people go when they die?”
And then Alan says, “Oi! Mama told us we should never talk about sad things! Only happy things!”
And Vernice says, “Mama’s not here. She can’t hear us. Please, Kuya, please tell me where I will go. Will it be the same place that Papa went to?”
And Alan says, “Ah, I think we should go back in now. The hamog will not be good for you.”
And Vernice says, “Please, Kuya. Please, tell me about the Very Happy Place...”
And Alan says, “Okay. The happy place. That’s where Papa is now. It’s a beautiful place, like this one. Over there, you can watch the sunset as many times as you want, for as long as you want. And then you can swim in the sea. You can swim and swim and not drown. And the sea is sweet, not salty. You can even walk on water!
And there, you can dance. I bet that’s what Papa is doing now. He is dancing. You know how Papa dances? Maybe we should dance now!
And Vernice says, “Oh, Kuya, stop teasing!”
And Alan says, “Please, may I have this dance?” He whirls him around ta-raa-ta-raraaa... “You know what else is in the Very Happy Place? There we will find the best Doctor for you and He will heal you and you will never have sickness again.
“And there, you have a big-screen TV. Much bigger than our TV: 24 inches! And all the angels watch TV all the time. “
And Vernice says, “All the time?!”
And Alan says, “Yes! All the time! You know what they are watching?”
And Vernice says, “What?”
And Alan says, “They’re watching you!”
And Vernice says, “Me?”
And Alan says, “Yes! They are watching you. They are watching you on TV as you laugh. And when you laugh your eyes sparkle like the stars and the place becomes brighter.”
But Vernice doesn’t hear what his kuya is saying anymore. Because at that moment, while Alan was talking about the angels and Vernice’s smile, at that moment Vernice... Vernice dies. But, but Alan does not know, so he keeps on talking and talking and talking. He just talks and watches the sun set and then when it was evening, Alan looked up, and he has never seen so many stars before. So many stars. The night was so bright. And the reason is—the reason is—the stars that used to reside in Vernice’s eyes already returned to the sky.
Sir, thank you for letting me recite the monologue even though there’s no more audition, sir. Thank you. You are very kind. Let me get my bio-data back. You don’t need this anymore. I have a long way to walk to get back home. Exits.
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I can't remember everyone's comments, but Teacher Melvin said it would've been more effective if I had done it in Filipino. I quite agree to that but I've always been afraid of the language and tripping over the syllables and not sounding right. So I took the "easy" route and did it in English.
Also, he said it would've been stronger if they really did not allow him to just say the lines anyway. The choice was not compelling enough--hence it was neither believable. Teacher Melvin asked, "What if they were already packing up and closing up and with all urgency you just plunged ahead and did the monologue without anyone's permission?"
That gave me food for thought. Maybe I was just really afraid of that moment. Maybe I'm not THAT courageous to plunge into theatre no matter how much I love it--if I'm not given permission to. This is weird. I am 29 years old, clearly an adult. Who do I need permission from to do what I love? Quite an insight!
Finally, some craft bits: I should have made the delineation between Vanz and Alan clearer by making choices for Alan/Vernice scene that make it look more like an audition, because Vanz and Alan, as far as my characterization goes, were too close to each other, and I must separate them far enough so that the *match in their stories... when they become one... becomes more dramatic. Ugh! I've a lot of work on that one! If I want to be a good actor, I must kill laziness.
Or give laziness a space in my life. One hour a week of pure laziness. That'll be its space and no more.
Finally, and this is a shoutout to all Christian artists out there, always involve God in your creative process--whatever it is. If you're the actor who works outside in or inside out, ask God to help you. God is the Creator, the Inventor of Theatre. Rely on Him for ideas and to breathe life into your piece.
