Okay, this is it. Schedule bidding. It's make or break. It's the difference between the rest of the year being exciting or a drone. Let me explain something first.
To make ends meet, I took on a call centering job. I have been at it since November last year, and this has greatly limited my theater involvements. Naturally, I need to work hard, and I want to do good at my job, as well as get regularized (which I did last month, kudos to Rico). But my employer has many policies surrounding outside-of-work-activities.
So far, the only theater I did was the REP Fringe class last summer, which I enjoyed very much, thoroughly enjoyed, and learned a lot from. For the first time I am beginning to understand in a practical, visceral way what Patsy Rodenburg's exercises were as detailed in her book The Actor Speaks, and I work on the exercises every day on my own as if I'm a beginning actor.
It's always good to have a beginner's mind. A Zen mind.
Ego is knocking a lot at my door lately. Gawad Buhay 2012 nominations are out now and my name is not on the list. Puh! I thought I did rather well last year but I didn't get noticed.
But I do know that a lot of the actors whom I admire and respect for their work, professionalism, and sheer courage are not on this year's list as well. So what does that say?
How often have I told myself that I do theatre to serve, not for fame. (Although an acting recognition would be nice.) Still, I shouldn't stop trying to be a better actor. I should go on--breathing. Yes, simply breathing, just as Patsy Rodenburg teaches. I want to be a breathing actor.
But back to the subject at hand. I need to get a good work schedule so I can slip rehearsals in and shows when I can. Here's praying for special favor from God so I can go out on auditions again. I miss the theatre. I have illusions that the theatre misses me, too. Whether that's true or not doesn't matter. In the meantime, breathe, breathe, breathe!
