Disappointment

Maybe I should briefly tell the story of my discouragement. It can be a long story, so if I write a long winding email thank you for your patience. I scheduled to share this grievance with a confidante as per the task, but the person backed out. So I'm sharing it here.

Our boss from Australia sent us P10,000 so we our team (of six people, myself included) can spend on fun! We're to take half-day from work and spend the rest of the day eating out, or doing whatever, for team building purposes. We met about where we will eat and I suggested if we can take part of that amount (say P1,000) and give it to charity. After all, the amount is more than enough for all of us, and we all have salaries that can pay for restaurants, etc. The money is a sweet bonus from our boss.

One suggested that true charity means money comes out of your own pocket, and one another said that the P1,000 can better be spent on Starbucks. Well, the rest didn't say anything, and when we finished the meeting, I saw our team leader (I'm only second-in-command in this team) put in the P1,000 for charity and the rest of the money for our team building. So I believed everything to be settled.

Naturally, being the two team leaders, we emailed our boss. The first team leader said we're eating at this restaurant of choice. I emailed him that the team is giving P1,000 to charity under the name of the company. I also suggested Metro Ministries, a charity institution that helps homeless children giving them food, shelter, medical attention, clothes. The boss approved the charity and the restaurant.

A week after that, when we found out that the restaurant will cost P1,400 each for lunch... and since there's six of us that'll be P8,400 + 1,000 (for charity) and only a remaining P600 left for whatever, the team changed its mind and said they don't want to give the P1,000 for charity and instead spend it all on team building. They were, they said, willing to give out of their pockets for charity instead. They also said that I was imposing this on them, that I coerced them into giving! I felt crushed. I used to think highly of these people, but after this change of heart and mind, I saw them as lacking integrity and compassion. This was so sad because I actually sent them a profile of Metro Ministries and a photo of the young boy, Jimmy, who will receive the P1,000 donation.

I apologized to the group if I ever made them feel coerced into giving. After I recovered from initial shock, I emailed my boss and told him that the team would rather not give the P1,000 to charity. It's my boss's money. He has the right to know where we're spending it.

Almost immediately my boss messaged me on Skype asking if it was the whole team's decision. I had to be honest, I told him. I said, it was majority. I also told him that I wanted to give the P1,400 that was supposedly for my lunch treat and give that to charity, and I can pay for my own lunch during the team building.

My boss said that won't be necessary. He said he'll still send the P10,000 for us, and an additional P2,000 to give to charity. I was so thankful!

But even that didn't settle the issue with my teammates. They felt I painted them in a bad light in the eyes of my boss, that they were willing to give to charity out of their own pockets and it was unprofessional of me to email him.

The next day I didn't join them for lunch. One of my friends here in the office said that my team were making fun of charity, saying, "Don't finish your lunch! Leave half of it and give it to the poor!" and they were all laughing and mocking. Then they reported me to the local supervisors and soon I found myself in a room with the two Filipino supervisors and the rest of the team.

The team said I assumed they agreed to giving the P1,000 and then jumped the gun by emailing our Aussie boss. I said, I saw it put in the budget! I thought you all were in agreement. And they said I imposed it on them. I looked at the team leader, asking him to say that he did put it in budget and that at that time it was a decision, but he didn't say anything. I was thrown under the bus! The supervisors said it was all my fault, and they all felt happy having someone to blame. The newest of the team even called me unprofessional for showing him how to improve his writing--which is my job as quality control for the team!

I said, "I can never be friends with people like you." And I have never spoken to them ever since, unless it's related to work.

So now I'm stuck working with people who have zero integrity. Why can't they take the example of my boss? He approved the P1,000 for charity, and even when the rest went against that, he still gave to honor his word! I grieve the loss of friendships I had with the team, but really, I'd rather not be friends with them. I told them we don't have to be enemies, but I can't be friends with you anymore.

Well, that's the gist of it. I think I shall write about this some more in the coming days. It may be expurgative, therapeutic for me. And new things happen every day.

Thanks for listening.