Amidst a culture of fake

But what if the culture among your colleagues is that of fakery? Of plasticity?

What if you're not used to that? What if in life you've learned that keeping one's integrity is not always easy but the better option? What if life experience has taught you that dishonesty only leads through more trouble--and who needs additional burdens in this day and age?

In a painful series of events, I recently found out that the team I work with at the office cannot be trusted completely. And for someone who already has trust issues, this was devastating. It takes me a while before I trust a person. Otherwise, I keep acquaintances at a distance. If I do trust a person, I let that person in my life and develop a deep level of friendship. With me, there is no middle ground. This was shown to me clearly by a friend of mine, who has these issues herself.

Now the problem presents itself when I've learned to trust a person who betrays me, or would not return the same commitment to friendship. It can be devastating. And in this case, it was. I thought I could trust my team with my heart, my creativity... I was wrong.

An air of phoniness has now set in and a game of politicking has kicked in. I don't want to take part in it. I can't. I don't want to lose my integrity for that. But what can I do? I'm afraid I'd be swallowed alive if I don't participate in the game--if I don't compromise my values.

I think the answer is simply DON'T. Don't compromise. Hold on. Hold fast. Trust that I am not friendless, that Someone promised to look out for me and never leave me, and that Someone is Truth. In the same way, I was advised to stretch my patience and compassion. Not everyone has equal level of understanding in these matters. Some probably are not still awake enough to comprehend spiritual issues surrounding this. And for these people, I must extend an open acceptance of who they are and the level of consciousness they're in, just as I have my own limitations to my level of consciousness.

In all these, to trust God. Trust God. Continue to be as honest as I can, continue to learn what I can, and to trust God.

So amidst a culture of dishonesty, be compassionate, understanding, open-minded, and honest. Never lose the honesty. Just be more expansive, inclusive. In my mind there can be space enough for acceptance of everyone in my life now.

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And some encouraging words from friends:

"Disappointments in life makes us tough. Sometimes it's not a battle of what is right and wrong but what we have come out of it."

“If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” [John 15:19]

"Love is patient."

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Extending patience. I need to learn this lesson now. Because this is in preparation for something in the future. And if I don't learn kind consideration and patience now then it'll be harder in the future.

Last night I read about Joshua in the Bible. That part of the Bible is all about land and how the Israelites, once slaves in Egypt, are now claiming their inheritance from God. Well, the land is theirs, God gave it to them as the Promised Land, and now it's theirs for the taking. Joshua 17.14-18 records some people complaining about it, though. They were asking for more land. Joshua says, "Well, go fight for it!" Like move! Do what you need to do. It's theirs for the taking, so take it.

I realize I'm like that sometimes. You know, God has promised us blessings and to help us but [if] I don't do my part, then I don't get it.

Caleb, in Joshua 14.6-15, is the opposite. He claimed and fought for the land that was promised to him by God--and that showed faith. Faith does involve action.

Two days ago God instructed me to apologize to the members of the team at work. I didn't want to do it. I felt that they should apologize to me! But I obeyed, leaving the results up to Him.

Earlier today the instructions were to try to make contact with one of the team members, to just see things from his perspective.

I need to trust God in this. I owe it to Him. I owe it to Jesus who purchased me with the most precious thing ever: His life. I owe it to the Christians all over the world who are persecuted. What is this that I am experiencing compared to their travails? And yet they're faithful. And God is faithful.

I need to learn to be faithful.