What a weekend!

Just a quick note today.

I have a huge weekend ahead of me. First, I have to prepare for tomorrow's Large Group Hosting. It's "Moving Up" Day, so no lesson, just a lot of songs and fun. Not quite easy if you think about, owing to the fact that I don't get much time to rehearse because of j-o-b. Not that I'm complaining. My Saturday morning will be spent trying to learn the dance steps, and hopefully not in vain.

Saturday afternoon today, I will go to Palm Tower B because my friend and now agent, Dene Gomez, is sending me to a VTR, the second one I'm going to this year. I know. If I wanted more acting assignments I should put myself more out there. Hopefully I nail this one and this relationship with Dene's List Talent Agency works. It will be the first time I am handled by an agent. I'm no longer freelance. Wow.

I've work still tonight. I have to tally a team game we're holding at work. My manager will be on a much-deserved vacation leave and so it's up to me to tally the scores and send them out. I know they'll all be eager to find out who sunk who. It's a Battleship game with a twist. Have to be very thorough with this so I won't mess it up.

Sunday morning, right after shift, which is July 01 already, I just realized! A new month! Just like that. Sunday morning will be spent at church, worshiping, recuperating, I must say--finding rest in my Shepherd.

Sunday afternoon is show time! We ought to be prepared. I'm not sure if we can come in costumes, but I hope our songs for the kids would be fun enough and get them to keep coming back to Kids' Church. This new batch of Nursery level Sunday schoolers will experience Large Group for the first time and we want to make a great impression and whet their appetites for the Bible.

Sunday evening, finally! It's not rest, I'm sorry. I still have work. But I'll be going to the office to party!  JAMawockeez, that's our office's team, will be holding a bash. After tonight we'll be moved to separate teams and we're celebrating six months of joys, pains, and growing together in this crazy company I want to nickname The Firm.

It's been wonderful working with you all, Jamawockeez! Thanks for the support. From the bottom of my heart! Not just on carpeted areas, but moreso when I'm on stage. Your suppost is wonderfully felt and cherished! Cheers!

Psalm 23 taught me how to pray

If there's another thing I learned from David's 23rd Psalm, it's how to pray in the Name of Jesus. I mean, how to really pray.

Think about it. Ever since Sunday School when I was a tee weeny bit of a young boy, we were taught to end all our prayers with, "In Jesus' Name, Amen!"

We were also taught strange superstitions like, if there's a ghost, yell out loud: "In Jesus' Name!" and that was supposed to scare the devil away. (Who's to say that a quiet prayer for divine protection isn't enough for our Dad to rush to His kids' side?)

Now knowing that what basically David did was sing or pray God's names when he wrote Psalm 23 gives me a clue as to how I should pray in Jesus' name.

YHWH-Rapha, I AM Healer, is translated to "He restores my soul." YHWH-Tsidkenu, I AM your Righteousness, is translated to "He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake."

The point is, when I know more and more about Jesus, when I get to be very intimate with Him and know Him personally, then I see facets of His personality as revealed in the Bible and in our daily personal encounters. Then I can begin praying in accordance to Jesus' character. That is, I realize, what it really means to pray in Jesus' name.

Jesus is our Shepherd, the True Vine, the Messiah, the Prince of Peace. In times of confusion, I can pray to hear His voice so I can follow Him. In times of loss and disconnection, I can pray to the True Vine and renew my relationship with God my Father. When I've fallen, I can call on Jesus my Messiah. And when I'm rattled, afraid, shaken, I have Jesus, the Prince of Peace.

So, thanks, David. You taught me how to pray in the name of the Son of David. The One who said, "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends."

Wishes

Someone once told me that one powerful way to make your wishes come true is to write them down.

So, in no particular order, here goes:

1. I want a new toilet seat cover.
2. I want to have Dana's bike fixed.
3. Get bicep muscles.
4. Get cut abs.
5. Write a novel and get it published.
6. Act in a play before this year ends.
7. Tour the Holy Land with my family.
8. Start and grow a savings account.
9. Get a new Blackberry phone.
10. Get a new iPod.
11. Homeschool Dana, and make sure she gets in a good university (UP, where else?).
12. Learn to drive.
13. Watch shows on Broadway.
14. Get to originate a role again.
15. Bring Veck and Dana to Disneyland.

The hidden code in Psalm 23

When I was in fourth grade, my grandmother gave me a Good News Bible. The version is, although bulky, easy to read. I carried it around my school backpack.

Whenever I got bored in history classes, I would hide the Bible between the covers of our textbook and read it. More than once I got caught. The teacher was probably expecting a comic book. Archie or X-Men. Surprise! I was reading Deuteronomy and the history of the people of Israel.

When I got to the Psalms I fell in love with Hebrew poetry. I mean, I absolutely went wild with it. I thought, this is how I am supposed to pray.

The first psalm I memorized was Psalm 23. I would recite, "Yea though I woke through the valley of the shadow of death..." whenever the lights are turned out in my room and I begin to fear bogeymen and ghosts and aswangs that threaten to appear. I guess it was that silly childhood superstition that forced me to memorize a prayer. It begins with "The Lord is my shepherd" and goes all the way to "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Who wouldn't find comfort in that poem? After saying the words, I'd drift to sleep.

As I got older, the patina of familiarity took over my love of the Psalm. It felt old to me, over-rated, even childish. I get knocked over with problems, bills to pay, unemployment, egotistic actors ganging up on me backstage, whatever... I try to recite Psalm 23 but it didn't work its magic on me anymore. It felt staid, hackneyed, impotent. I didn't believe in the words anymore.

Our family goes to Christ's Commission Fellowship to worship on Sundays. The message last Sunday was about Psalm 23 and the hidden names of God in it. My eyes and heart were opened. I fell in love again this time not with the psalm but with the Shepherd.

Listen to the message in full at http://bit.ly/MGwCZ9.

"The LORD" is the English translation for God's proper personal name YHWH, which is "I AM WHO I AM." The I AM is our Shepherd.

Here is the 23rd Psalm.

23 ¹The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

² He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
³ He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
⁵ Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

If we go through each statement, we find how David, the psalm's author, put in God's names in the psalm, highlighting a certain aspect or attribute of His character.

"I shall not want."
YHWH-Jireh
which means "The LORD will provide."
also at Genesis 22:14

"still waters"
YHWH-Shalom
which means "The LORD our peace"
also at Judges 6:24

"restores my soul"
YHWH-Rapha
which means "The LORD who heals"
also at Exodus 15:26

"paths of righteousness"
YHWH-Tsidkenu
which means "The LORD our righteousness"
also at Jeremiah 33:16

"I fear no evil for you are with me"
YHWH-Shammah
which means "The LORD is there"
also at Ezekiel 48:35

"in the presence of my enemies"
YHWH-Nissi
which means "The LORD our banner"
also at Exodus 17:15

"anoint my head with oil"
YHWH-M'Kaddesh
which means "The LORD who sanctifies"
also at Leviticus 20:8

And then the most wonderful thing. In the New Testament, Jesus Christ is called:

The Good Shepherd in John 10:11
The Great Shepherd Hebrews 13:20
The Chief Shepherd 1 Peter 5:4

Jesus Christ, the Lamb of God, is our Shepherd. The last verse which says "Goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life..." carries the idea of not just following, but pursuing, and overcoming. Imagine goodness and mercy racing after you and catching after you and enveloping you all the days of your life just because Jesus is your Shepherd.

In John 10, Jesus said about himself, "The sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice.

"I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me, just as my Father knows me and I know the Father. So I sacrifice my life for the sheep.

"I have other sheep, too, that are not in this sheepfold. I must bring them also. They will listen to my voice, and there will be one flock with one shepherd."

That's an invitation for us all to be part of His flock. Imagine the Lion of Judah as your Shepherd. You certainly have nothing to fear!

Bullying

In 2011 I played a young teenager in the play "William" by Ron Capinding named Tj Domingo. Tj is a bully and has a troubled domestic life.

Personally, I am against all forms of bullying. It damages both the bullied and the bully. In cases of bullying, both parties are victims. Parents and teachers should take responsibility in creating a safer school environment for children and teenagers.

Just today I came across the following incident of bullying in a school bus. This was reported by ABC News.

Students apoligize to bullied bus monitor
School bus monitor abused by students says she won't quit her job

I cannot believe that Karen Klein endured this taunting for 20 years and nothing so far has been done to stop it. The parents should take full responsibility for their children's behavior. It should not stop with just the apology. What kind of home do these kids live in? Why do they misbehave?

In "William", it is revealed that the fictional character Tj Domingo is both physically and verbally abused by his father. This is why I raise these questions.

I am now a father of a three-year-old girl. My wife and I are committed to do everything in our power to keep our girl both from being bullied and bullying others. It begins at home.

If you are bullied, tell someone you trust. If you know someone being bullied, don't just stand there. Do something! Tell an adult. Speak out. Create awareness. There are lots of positive things you can do. Or do like I did: I went up onstage and showed what bullying is, what drives a young man to bully others, and, through the words of William Shakespeare, express a humble apology.

Dana's Games: Cocoon

I have been meaning to start a series called "Games Dana plays." So here's the first entry!"

I wanted to chronicle the games that Dana invented, detail the rules, and share the fun with all of you. Dana is very creative when it comes to coming up with games, and she has been playing these games with Mommy and Daddy since... oh, I don't know, even before she turned one. The rules vary as time goes by and I'll try to recall them as faithfully as possible.

Am I a proud Dad for having a creative daughter? You bet! (I have a suspicion that's how our Daddy Up There feels, too, when we play with our creativity energies and let our creative spirits free.)

Cocoon
For this game, you will need:
- a blanket
- some pillows (optional)

The game starts rather arbitrarily. Dana received a fluffy Hello Kitty™ blanket from her Ninang Jel for her first birthday. We saved and saved this blanket from use for the first six months, afraid that Dana might wet her bed and only ruin it. When Dana got a little bit older, we brought it out for her. She immediately loved it and called it "Hello Pretty."

This is one of Dana's favorite games. We still play it a lot. Dana calls out: "Cocoon! Cocoon!" and wherever I am, I rush to her and we hide under the covers of her blanket. The rule is that all parts or our bodies are under the blanket and all its edges are safely tucked underneath body parts (wherever we can manage). We can even set up pillows to use as pillars to make the "cocoon" more like a tent.

It does get stuffy but under the cocoon Dana pretends to whisper secrets to me (she still can't talk yet, only in babbles). And I get to be close to my daughter! When she gets older, I know she won't want to play with her old man anymore (*sentimental).

Writing this now I can't help but think of prayer. It's been a while that I called to God for a one-on-one meeting, a solo time with God-Dad, a cocoon where I hide under the sheets and whisper my heart's secrets, pains and shame to Him.

"Cocoon! Cocoon!" God may call, waiting for me to rush to His side and be intimate with Him.

Just breathe!

Okay, this is it. Schedule bidding. It's make or break. It's the difference between the rest of the year being exciting or a drone. Let me explain something first.

To make ends meet, I took on a call centering job. I have been at it since November last year, and this has greatly limited my theater involvements. Naturally, I need to work hard, and I want to do good at my job, as well as get regularized (which I did last month, kudos to Rico). But my employer has many policies surrounding outside-of-work-activities.

So far, the only theater I did was the REP Fringe class last summer, which I enjoyed very much, thoroughly enjoyed, and learned a lot from. For the first time I am beginning to understand in a practical, visceral way what Patsy Rodenburg's exercises were as detailed in her book The Actor Speaks, and I work on the exercises every day on my own as if I'm a beginning actor.

It's always good to have a beginner's mind. A Zen mind.

Ego is knocking a lot at my door lately. Gawad Buhay 2012 nominations are out now and my name is not on the list. Puh! I thought I did rather well last year but I didn't get noticed.

But I do know that a lot of the actors whom I admire and respect for their work, professionalism, and sheer courage are not on this year's list as well. So what does that say?

How often have I told myself that I do theatre to serve, not for fame. (Although an acting recognition would be nice.) Still, I shouldn't stop trying to be a better actor. I should go on--breathing. Yes, simply breathing, just as Patsy Rodenburg teaches. I want to be a breathing actor.

But back to the subject at hand. I need to get a good work schedule so I can slip rehearsals in and shows when I can. Here's praying for special favor from God so I can go out on auditions again. I miss the theatre. I have illusions that the theatre misses me, too. Whether that's true or not doesn't matter. In the meantime, breathe, breathe, breathe!

Gary Oldman

One of my favorite actors is Gary Oldman. I think he has that rare gift of what I call "saktong timpla." Neither over or under. He just concocts his performance right. I wish I can see him onstage, but onscreen, I come to watch him with an intent to make mental notes of how it's supposed to be done, only to be carried away by the life of his character.

I want to be like Gary Oldman. Who cares if year after year the Oscar's snubbed him and he got his first nomination only this year? What do award-giving bodies know anyway?

Here's a toast to Gary Oldman! For your truthfulness, your professionalism, your craft. I want to grow into a master actor like you!

I'm excited to see the new Batman movie because Gary Oldman will be there.

Yesterday, for Veck's birthday, we went to the Cabanas Cinemas. We saw Kimmy Dora 2. That was a riot of fun! The funniest scenes are between Uge and Uge. Just frolicking fun!

Veck seemed to like the dozen white roses and the chichacorn I gave her for her birthday. I'm still trying to learn how to be more romantic, so if you've better ideas, feel free to post. On this note, I am reading Nelson T Dy's book The Honeymoon Never Ends. Load of advice in that book! And it's perfect for Filipino husbands because it's written by a Pinoy!

Finally, I do want to act onstage this year. It seems the only audition notices I see are for musicals. I want to do more straight plays, if I can. I miss acting. I'm learning a lot, and I think God is dealing with me on this aspect. Has theatre become my idol? Yikes. Theatre should be an altar of worship, not god itself.

In the meantime, while I'm waiting for my next acting assignment, I ought to be learning breath and being more organic. Whatever it takes to be as good as Gary Oldman!