CCF Couples Retreat 2009

I remember in April 2009, Veck and I packed for the Couples' Retreat scheduled early the next day. We were off to Caliraya to spend the weekend.

It's always a blessing to return to Caliraya. For one, that was where I asked Christ to become my Savior. Then, there's the buffet meals, the clean air, the horses, birds, trees. It is a wonderful place.

This was the first time Veck and I went to Caliraya together, and we brought Dana along. This CCF's Couples' Retreat's theme is Fireproof, and we had the chance to see the movie. We would listen to messages focusing on Biblical principles about married life. Then we would break out into groups and discuss what we've learned.

In the first pages of my Bible, there's a section dedicated to putting in one's fondest memories. Our recent trip to Caliraya makes the list:

Bonger and Bekya's Wedding, 27 December 2007, Bulacan, Bulacan.
Renewal of Wedding Vows, 27 September 2008, Antipolo. This was in our first CCF Couple's Retreat.
Dana Keziah is born, 07 March 2009, Malolos, Bulacan.
Second Renewal of Wedding Vows, 25 April 2009. Caliraya, Lumban Laguna.

What happens at a Renewal of Wedding Vows Ceremony?
First, there's a dinner, prepared for you. There's some singing. This time it was my friend, Joan Flores, who regaled us with a classy/jologs/romantic rendition of Grow Old With You from the musical The Wedding Singer. Mrs. Philippines 2009 Camilla Kim-Galvez sang The Nearness of You.

Then we were given a pair of rings. We would recite our wedding vows with Pastor Roy Felipe as officiating minister, give our spouse the rings, then kiss. Then there's wine and cake. It's an excellent reminder of my solemn word to God to love my wife through joy and sorrow, sickness and health, richer or poorer, for better or worse, till death do us part.

During this retreat, Veck and I met a lot of couples, but most memorably, we met Mark and Susan. Thirteen years into their marriage, they were on the verge of separation. They were cynical or in denial of their marriage's emotional health. It would seem that a palpable wall stood between them wherever they went. We saw this in their body language. Too, they never talked to each other, although individually, they were pretty talkative. They even missed Couples' Night on purpose. We missed them during the celebration.

Noticing this, I leaned over to Jess and Becca, who informed us that Susan wasn't feeling too well, hence their absence at the Renewal of Vows ceremony. It was sad that they would miss this opportunity. Then, I came up with an idea.

"Maybe we should hold a little ceremony tomorrow morning, just for them, for their Renewal of Vows," I said. Jess seemed to like the idea. Little did we know that in their room that night, Mark and Susan were already discussing their separation. They had their reasons, and at that moment, they saw that these reasons outweighed any other reason for them to stay together.

Sunday morning came. Jess approached us after the message on Handling Finances. He asked if we could be witnesses to Mark and Susan's Renewal of Vows. Veck and I of course said yes.

Mark and Susan recited their wedding vows. They gave each other rings. Then, after some moments of embarrassed hesitation, they kissed. It felt strained, the whole ceremony, but Veck and I hoped for the better for them.

At the end of the retreat, several couples came up to the open mic and gave their testimonies and thanks on how the retreat has sparked their loved for their respective spouses. There were several couples who took the mic. Finally, Mark stood up and told their story, how they were decided on leaving each other after the retreat; how they felt there would be no hope for them; and then...

It changed. By God's grace, when they went through the Renewal of Vows, they decided to give it one more chance to make their marriage work, to apply the Biblical principles they have learned, and ultimately, to truly forgive each other for past hurts. God is truly amazing! Mark would return to his seat after his testimony, putting an arm around his wife's shoulder.

Thank yous
Thank you to my Breakout Group, these couples who are years along the married life, for candidly sharing their experiences and encouraging Veck and I.

To Jess and Becca, praise God for your wisdom and patience!

To Mon and Bing, our indomitable, indefatigable dGroup leaders, who tirelessly meet and pray with us. You are an encouragement and have become true friends. You guys rock!

To Raffy and Joan, for being there, at the retreat, and anywhere, always.